I have a concussion.

No, not a confession, a concussion.  You read that right.  I personally blame the refrigerator in the sanctuary’s kitchen and a very large case of SunnyD.

Concussions are wild.  I’ve already had 3 doctor’s appointments.  I’ve cried and/or teared up more than 10 times.  I missed a funeral, I’ve sat in the dark, and my screen time has gone down significantly.

Concussions are the worst, to be sure.  But for me, my concussion was also manna.

If you don’t know what manna is, it literally means “what is it?”  That’s what the Israelites said when God casually rained it down from heaven to feed His hungry people in the desert.

That evening quail came and covered the camp, and in the morning there was a layer of dew around the camp.  When the dew was gone, thin flakes like frost on the ground appeared on the desert floor.   When the Israelites saw it, they said to each other, “What is it?”  For they did not know what it was.

Moses said to them, “It is the bread the Lord has given you to eat.  This is what the Lord has commanded: ‘Everyone is to gather as much as they need.  Take an omer for each person you have in your tent.’”(Exodus 16:13-16)

When you get to the New Testament, manna becomes a metaphor.  Jesus is our true manna- the bread of life.  He is the one who came down from heaven to give us life.

Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, Moses didn’t give you bread from heaven.  My Father did.  And now he offers you the true bread from heaven. The true bread of God is the one who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” (John 6:32-33)

So, my concussion isn’t really manna, Jesus is.  But somehow, God has used something as annoying as a concussion to reveal more of Himself to me.  This thing that seemed like nothing more than an inconvenience has turned out to be just what I needed.

I knew something was happening when our kids pastor, Ruth, came into my office the day after I hit my head.  With teary eyes she told me that she felt like God was going to speak to me that day.  Since then, things have been happening.

Firstly, three of my friends really showed up for me.  One of them took me to a long and tedious doctor’s appointment.  One came and sat with me in the dark for a day, and another drove all the way to my house just to pick me up and take me to get a coffee.  This might not seem like much, but to me, it meant the world.  As someone in ministry, I often feel like I should always be the one pouring out and checking in on my friends.  It was such a blessing for my friends to show up so selflessly for me.  I was emotional, irritable, and had no energy to be friendly, and yet they still came.  That felt like the kindness of God.

My concussion has also kept me off my phone.  I’m learning that my phone is often the source of my discontentment.  That felt like the kindness of God.

Lastly, I wasn’t really supposed to be reading or podcasting or listening to loud music.  I had a few days of doing nothing.  For some reason, the doing-nothingness reminded me so much of God’s abundant grace.  The inability to perform and try to be a “good Christian” invited me into deeper freedom and deeper thankfulness.  That felt like the kindness of God.

Concussions aside, here’s what I’m saying: God provides manna.  God is manna, and a lot of the time, His presence comes in an unexpected package.

I’m not trying to get you to get you to believe that “everything happens for a reason,” but maybe to believe that “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose…(Romans 8:28)” or that He who began a good work in you has promised to bring it to completion (Philippians 1:6).

When was the last time you leaned into your feelings of loneliness?  Have you asked yourself why that breakup devastated you?  Perhaps your feelings of jealousy are an invitation to sanctification.

Maybe the grief and loss and hurts of life are also somehow manna.

Ask God to show you what He’s up to- to show you more of Himself- the next time you find yourself saying “What is this?”



Everything you’re hungry for won’t be found in Egypt, but in Him.