Adulting 101 - Ken Armstrong

Share this with a young adult in your life! Reach out to lauren@deerlakeumc.org if you're interested in writing for the blog.

1) Who are you and how did you get here?

I am Ken Armstrong and how long do you have? Long story short… After being VERY active in my high school church youth group, when a few bad things happened to those around me, I veered sharply away from the church in college. I still believed in God, but as bad things happened to good people around me, I wasn’t able to answer the question of “Why would a god allow that?”

Over the next two decades, every few years, I drifted back towards Jesus because I knew he was real. However, then another horrendous event would happen in my life that would force me to again grapple with that previous question that I never found the answer to. I would turn away from God again. That question actually morphed into a more selfish and perilous version: “Why do good things happen to “bad” people?”

I drifted through life in this pattern until the age of 50. One week Deb and I were visiting Deer Lake and I heard a sermon from the then pastor, Jeremy Rebman, on Psalms 37. I was reduced to tears as the pain and anger that had built up over the years flowed out all at once and the Holy Spirit took its place. I am a new and better man and at peace with all around me (there are still days however LOL). I have forgiven those that “wronged” me and Deb over the years and I have told them face to face.

2) What were you like as a young adult?

I was raised in a farm town in central Illinois by my mom and dad. I have a sister that is 7 years older than me, and I was very active in my high school church youth group. In high school, I was kind of a hybrid between being a geek and also an athlete. On the geek side, I was really good at math and science, and I was 1^st chair trombone in the band. Our family could not afford fancy clothes, so I usually wore t-shirts that were freebies from one event, organization or another. It wasn’t until my junior year in high school that I got a job at a men’s clothing company and was finally able to improve my wardrobe a bit! I played baseball, basketball, and golf but my best sports were tennis and water skiing.

3) What was one memorable challenge that you faced as a young adult and how did you overcome it?

In addition to my reply to question 1 and now reading Psalm 37 every so often, I have wrestled with contentment which led to money issues. Since I grew up fairly poor and was now making decent money, I always wanted “stuff” around me because I thought that I deserved it. To make matters worse, it usually had to be “new” stuff at that. Cars, electronics, houses, and furniture were always consuming our incomes and we spent money on whatever we could afford payments on. We heard that money fights/money issues are the #1 cause of divorce. It wasn’t causing marital issues yet, but I could see that day coming. We realized our marriage was much more important than surrounding ourselves with stuff that goes down in value the day you acquire it.

Somehow, I stumbled on Dave Ramsey’s radio show and started listening to him. He spoke about money from a biblical perspective. He teaches the evils of debt and how it robs your future self to satisfy your current discontent/impulses/desires. Deb and I ended up taking his class, Financial Peace University offered at Deer Lake and we were hooked. Since then, we have paid off all of our debts (including our house) and will never borrow again. Even though we are now in good shape, we still live off of a budget each and every month.

I now teach this class at Deer Lake 2 times per year. I have helped folks pay off over $500,000 in debt and save $250,000 in 12 - 9 week classes over the last 8 years.

As far as my contentment goes, I still struggle at times, but I remember: It’s not “what” you have in life that is important, but rather “Who” you have in your life.

4) What is one piece of advice that every young adult needs to hear?

Sorry… I have 2!

• You don’t become a great leader by climbing over the backs of those around you. Instead, you become a great leader by building up the value of those around you.
• You are the average of your 10 best friends. Surround yourself with people that raise that average… not lower it.

5) Share a practical tip, resource, or recipe that every young adult should know:

If you struggle with an issue, get it resolved by talking with others that are older, wiser, more experienced, and trained in getting you back to being mentally healthy. If I had met with my pastor during my first trial as a senior in high school, he/she would have told me that nowhere in the Bible does it say that there won’t be trials and tribulations in life. However, it DOES say that God will be there with us every step of the way to strengthen us, love us, nurture us, and care for us. It turns out that there are hundreds of verses in the Bible that could have helped me to get past my troubles. I just didn’t want to look for them. In addition to Psalm 37, James, the brother of Jesus says in James 1:2-5:

2 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.



5 If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking