Share this with a young adult in your life! Reach out to lauren@deerlakeumc.org if you're interested in writing for the blog.

1) What were you like as a young adult? (Personality, dress, family, etc.)
Let me start by saying I’m a little bothered by the fact that this question is addressed in the past tense… as if I’m no longer a young adult. For what it’s worth, I have one more year before I age out of the ‘Young Clergy’ category in the UMC. That’s got to mean something! That being said, I’ll play along - ha! 

In my college and early adulting days, I lived for pick-up sports. If there was a game of flag football, ultimate frisbee, or dodgeball to be played, I was there. This love for being active and playing sports was facilitated by the fact that I worked in youth ministry from the age of 19 to 30 which granted me a considerable amount of time to act even younger than I felt.
 
Also, Anna and I got married fairly young (she was 21 and I was 22) and were totally broke, so adulting meant lots of at-home Red Box movie dates (no Netflix or Disney+ yet) and frozen pizza dinners!
 
2) What was one memorable challenge that you faced as a young adult and how did you overcome it?
In the church where I grew up, we did a great job connecting with children and youth and we did a great job connecting with older adults, but there was almost nothing for anyone in their twenties and early thirties. At some point, my wife and I had to decide whether or not we’d leave to go find what this church didn’t have or put ourselves to the task of trying to create what we longed for. We chose to stay and build, and for the next 5 years or so, we put ourselves to work trying to create a space where people like us might find community and connection. It was a difficult, often lonely time in the beginning, but it was a beautiful journey of learning to trust God as we poured ourselves into a vision of doing life together, the fruit of which we might never fully enjoy ourselves. 

Another challenge I faced was that, as a young person in church leadership, your ideas and passions are often unintentionally overlooked or even dismissed altogether. In one specific season in which my leadership platform increased considerably, I committed myself to a year of learning. What I decided was for that first year, I would do whatever was asked of me by leadership without much pushback or questioning. During that year, I would do things their way and employ their methods, even if I felt like there was a better way of doing it. My rationale was that by doing this, I would either be proven wrong and learn from their wisdom or I would be proved right and put that learning in my back pocket for future use. Either way, at least in my mind, I would emerge as a better leader. 

3) What is one piece of advice that every young adult needs to hear?
I’d say this: slow down, show up, and shut up. Let me explain.

• Slow down – change takes time and if God is patient with us so that we can change (2 Peter 3:9), we can be patient when it comes to others, organizations, churches (and even ourselves) as they work towards change and growth. 
• Show up – too often we want to be a part of something that already is exactly the way we want it to be. Change takes time, but it also takes effort. Show up. Step in. Get involved. Show people you care. No one wants to follow leaders who don’t care – show up and show people you’re invested for real.
• Shut up – OK, I know that one sounds harsh, but hear me out. One of the shadow sides to social media (there are great aspects to it as well!) is that it’s trained us to be people to speak our minds without ever truly having to listen to others. As someone whose job requires me to do a lot of talking, I’m trying to learn the value of listening, of really hearing people. Too often we listen so we can respond – we (myself included) need to learn how to listen to understand. This doesn’t mean you having nothing to say and it’s not about suppressing the passions of our hearts – it’s about genuinely listening in order to better understand others, so that when you do speak, it’s not only what people need to hear, but it’s to people who have felt seen and heard by your posture of listening.

4) Share a practical tip, resource, or recipe that every young adult should know:

• If you break your pasta before you boil it (so it fits more effectively in your pot), don’t take it out of the box first – just press the center of the box of noodles on the edge of the countertop, and there you have it…Pot-sized noodles without the mess.
• You can buy pizza dough at Publix already rolled out – tastes better than frozen and is way cheaper than eating out. 
• Invest in an air fryer – you can literally cook or reheat almost anything in there and it puts a microwave to shame. 
• Start taking care of yourself now – you can’t eat like you used to when you were in high school. Your body doesn’t bounce back the way it once did. Do something each day to stay fit and active.