Confession time: my car is almost always an absolute mess. 

I’ll give it a good clean every few weeks, but in between those deep cleans, my car is embarrassingly dirty. 

Because of this, I’m pretty used to (and oddly comfortable with) strange smells in my car.  Half the time, I don't even notice them until some poor soul rides in my car and points them out.  Just ask my wife, Anna, about the first time she rode in my car... I can't believe she stuck around!  Anyway, between socks and shoes, old coffee cups and fast-food trash, there’s no telling what combination of fragrances you might find in my vehicle at any one time.  That’s what air fresheners are for, right?

Well, as normative as this all is for me, last week took things to a terrible new level. 

I opened up the door of my car and was crushed by the intensity of the odor that emanated out.  This wasn’t a curious smell.  This wasn’t just a bad smell.  This was disgusting.  This was putrid.  This was a gym locker meets dead fish sort of smell.  It was repulsive.  Because I was already running late to work, I sucked it up, put down the windows, and made my way to work, being careful to breathe only through my mouth. 

When I arrived, the smell had somehow intensified.  Late or not, I had to figure out what this was.  I checked the front and back seat… nothing.  The only remaining option was the trunk.  As I made my way to the back of the SUV, I tried anticipating what I might find.  Had some groceries fallen out of the bags and gotten lost in the trunk?  Had I brought food home from work a few days back and forgotten it?  Had some small creature decided to make their final resting place the back end of my vehicle? 

The moment I opened the trunk, all my questions were answered. 

You see, a few days earlier I’d picked up Ruth, my sister-in-law, from a house she’d watched over the weekend.  When she left, she bagged up all the trash, took it with her, and put it in the trunk of the car to throw away when we got home.

Except, the trash never made it to the trash can.  It never left my car.

It sat there, baking in the summer heart, roasting in my car, causing the air in my car to become toxic and unbreathable.  Thankfully it was a quick and easy fix.  I took the trash out of my trunk, tossed it in the church dumpster and within a matter of minutes, the stench was pretty much gone.

As I walked back to my car, a thought occurred to me: 

My car reeked because of someone else’s trash.  My car stunk because of another person’s garbage. In response to this thought, the following question flooded my mind:

How many times have I let someone else’s trash stink up my life?  How many times have I let someone else’s garbage make my life unbearable? 

How many times have I let someone else’s brokenness, pain, words, actions, anger, judgment, woundedness – their trash – distort my life, threaten my relationships, and negatively impact my understanding of God, of myself, or of others?

Some of us have been carrying around the garbage of others for years.

Someone said something.  Someone did something.  Someone didn’t show up.  Someone failed you.  Someone hurt you. 

Their trash impacted your life.

We’ve all been there.  These things stink in ways the worst of smells can’t even compare.  And the hard truth is, we can’t change what that person did or did not do, what they said or did not say.  You can’t change how they failed you, but you can change whether you continue to carry it around or not. 

How do you get rid of someone else’s trash?  How do you dispose of the garbage that isn’t yours to carry?

This isn’t a one size fits all situation.  Every story is different and just as various trash items must be disposed of in different ways, I don’t want to presume too much about your situation.  Some of us might even need a professional who is uniquely qualified to help us sort through and dispose of this garbage in healthy ways.  I want to be careful not to oversimplify anything here, but I do want to give you somewhere to start:

Start by naming the garbage for what it is: it’s garbage.  It’s trash, refuse, waste.  Identify it.  Face it.  You’ll never be free of what you’re unwilling to confront.

Here’s a simple rule of thumb I try to follow:

If it’s not from Jesus, it’s not for me.  If it’s not of Jesus, it’s not mine to hold on to. 

Why I like this is because if it’s not of Jesus and it’s not for me, it’s not mine to carry around.  When we name and identity the things that aren’t of and from Jesus, it frees us to focus more on the kinds of stuff Jesus actually made for us to carry around.  We can keep carrying their trash or start carrying His treasure.  What does the treasure of Jesus look like?  Here’s how Philippians 4 describes it:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ~ Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Sure, when it comes to old furniture and odd art, one person’s trash may be someone else’s treasure, but sometimes someone else’s trash is just trash.  Jesus gives us permission to name the trash for what it is, and to start holding on to the treasures of his love – that which is pure, lovely, right, true, etc. 

The difference between a hoarder and a collector is that hoarders hold onto valueless objects while collectors hold onto things of great value. 

Too many of us are living as hoarders, holding onto the trash of others, valueless words, accusations, judgments, and actions that only bring us pain.  Jesus invites us to store-up and treasure thoughts, memories, deeds, and actions that are full of joy, beauty, grace, and love – things of great value. 

If you’re not quite sure how to get rid of the collection of other people’s trash in your life, start by collecting new things – start by collecting things that look and sound like and point you to Jesus.

You can’t change what they did.  You can’t change what they said.  You can’t change how they failed you. But you can change what goes forward with you. 

May what you take forward be true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy and may it produce the sweetest of scents in your life for the glory of God and the sake of the world.