Disappointing.

I think that’s how many people during Jesus’ lifetime would have described him.

Don’t get me wrong, many other things would be said too.  Good.  Loving.  Prophet.  Teacher.  Savior.  Lord.  These kinds of things would have been said as well.  After all, wherever Jesus went He blessed, healed, freed, loved, and ministered to people, but while Jesus did do all of that, He didn’t do all of that for everyone.

Let me give you an example.  Mark 1 wastes no time launching us into the vibrancy of Jesus’ ministry. 

Disciples are called.  The sick healed.  Demons cast out and the darkness dismantled.  The energy is electric and yet, quite unexpectedly, we experience a sudden turn of events.  Listen to the way the scriptures describe it: 

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.  Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: “Everyone is looking for you!” Jesus replied, “Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also.  That is why I have come.” ~ Mark 1:35-38 (NIV)

Did you catch what just happened?  With people still in need, Jesus left.

There were still people to heal.  There were still people to care for.  There were still people who needed help.  There were still people who needed Jesus and yet, being fully aware of their need, Jesus left.

How many people went to bed that night thinking, “I’ll see Jesus in the morning and then I’ll get my healing.”  How many people went looking for Jesus only to find that he was gone but their need was not?

And if that’s me, I might be feeling a lot of different emotions, but the one thing I’m sure I’d feel is disappointment.

Now, if we’re not careful here, Jesus could, quite understandably, come off quite cruel.  I mean, who does that?  Who leaves when there’s still so much work to be done?  Who leaves when there are still people to be healed?  Who leaves when so many needs are yet unmet?

Apparently, Jesus does.

This is when and why we must pay incredibly close attention to the scriptures.  Notice why Jesus slips away.  He doesn’t leave because He doesn’t care.  He doesn’t leave because He’s indifferent to their pain.  He doesn’t leave because their problems are just too big.  Listen to his own testimony again:

“Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also.  That is why I have come.” ~ Mark 1:38 (NIV)

He leaves because His purpose is larger than that one city.  He leaves because His mission is bigger than that one town.  He leaves because He knows that ultimately, His message is the medicine and it's got to get out.

He leaves because He is laser focused on who He is and why He has come. 

In light of this learning, I have two reflections, one for the person feeling disappointed by God and the other for the person trying to do everything for everyone so as to not disappoint anyone. 

First, to the person feeling disappointed by God - overlooked, forgotten, forsaken - you're not alone.  Not only does the Bible not ignore that part of Jesus' ministry, it highlights it.  It literally zeroes in on it and launches Jesus’ ministry from within it. 

The Bible doesn't shy away from the complexity of the human experience.  Neither does it give us cliche answers or shallow solutions.  When Jesus left town, He knew the work wasn't finished.  He knew there were more people in need.  Mark 1 certainly doesn’t answer every question we have, and while we should be careful not to over apply it to every experience, it does help us see that there are times when Jesus has a really good reasons for not healing everyone all the time.  It’s not a matter of a lack of love.  It’s not some deep indifference on Jesus’ part.  It’s a radical commitment to the purposes of God that, in the end, are rooted in a love so deep that God himself would suffer with us and for us and that makes all the difference.

So, to the person feeling forgotten, left behind, disappointed by God – even Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me” (Matthew 27:46) from the cross. Jesus gives us permission to do the same. 

As for the person who is struggling under the weight of the expectations and requests of others: you can’t do everything everyone wants you to do.  You can’t say yes to every need that comes your way.  You can’t be everything for everyone and stay focused on who God is and what God has called you to.  Everybody matters, every need is important, but that doesn’t mean every need, every ask, every request, every expectation is yours to bear.  If there were times when Jesus had to say no and walk away, you can be sure there will be times when you and I must do the same.

If this is you, take some time this week to lean into who God is and what God has called you to do.  If you need some help processing that, here are some questions I’ve found helpful in my own journey:

Where do I feel most alive with God? When do I sense God most at work in me?  Through me? What have I done or been a part of that moved me with purpose and joy in ways other things haven’t?  Is there something I delight in doing where I also sense God’s delight in me?

As we lean into our disappointment with God or get more clarity around who God is and who God has called each of us to be, just remember this: not everyone will necessarily agree with or be excited by your newfound clarity.  Not everyone will be comfortable with you expressing your honest disappointment.  That’s OK. 

You can love people well without living to please them which, honestly, is incredibly freeing because you just can’t please everyone – even Jesus couldn’t do that.